I sent my new feature script to UCLA’s Screenwriting department so they could pass it on to an agent on my behalf, being that I attended UCLA’s Master Class. This agency submission through UCLA is the reason I applied to the Master Class last year, though now I think there’s a slim chance it’ll lead to anything, because the script is being submitted to only one agent. I don’t know who this agent is and I don’t know what genres he or she prefers. The whole thing is a million to one shot, but it’s still a shot.

As for the script itself, I’ve edited and polished it down to a lean 100 pages, from 104. I removed a few tiny scenes and some dialog, and put in the original ending I had in mind, which now brings the story to a more emotionally powerful and natural conclusion.

I've written an outline for my next short film. I call it SKATER GIRL. I'm not sure whether that’ll be the final title -- I don’t even really know what the film is about yet. I keep seeing images of a girl skateboarding around Santa Monica Beach, so I'm using that as inspiration to create an experimental, semi-narrative film.

With that idea alone, before I even had an outline, I placed a casting call on LA Casting, for a girl in the 18 to 25 range, with the description of “athletic with an edgy attitude”, and the required skill of being able to skateboard. The ad also states that there’s no script or dialog, and that we’ll be free to take creative risks without the fear of failing. With this film, I want to be free to improvise, to focus on images, action, and music, and not worry about rehearsing, doing multiple takes, or recording dialog.

I’m also freeing myself from having to spend money. Going forward with my short films, I won’t pay my actors anything more than a small stipend to cover gas and meals. I don’t get paid to make my short films, so why should the actors? They have as much to gain as I do. If the film turns out well, we all get material for our demo reels. If it doesn’t, everyone still gets verified credit on IMDb along with experience.

A bunch of friends showed up for the festival screening of STRING THEORY, some of them coming all the way from the San Francisco Bay Area. I was really touched by the show of support from all of them.

I was also pretty damn nervous. I wasn't sure whether people would like the film, but as soon as the film started and I heard the first wave of laughter, I immediately relaxed. The audience laughed all the way through to the end credits and gave the film a hearty round of applause. The Q&A session afterward, with all the filmmakers, went well also. The audience even laughed at some of my answers, especially when I told them about the real life stories that inspired the film.

One audience member asked all the filmmakers whether they make a living in the industry or whether they have day jobs. Pretty much everyone answered that they were “filmmakers”, “writers” or “directors”. With a straight face, I told the crowd that I work as a driving instructor. I told them that I risk my life everyday to teach sixteen year-olds how to drive. They laughed. They clearly appreciated my honesty.

It seemed to me that most of the other filmmakers dodged that question because they were trying to appear as “real” filmmakers. I don’t feel the need to appear like a “real” filmmaker. I am one. My day job has little to do with my identity or self-worth.

I received an email from LA Shorts Fest that began like this: “Congratulations! Your film ‘String Theory’ has been selected to be part of the 14th annual LA Shorts Fest, July 22 - 30, 2010.”

This was a pleasant little shock because I’d given up on the thought of STRING THEORY playing at any festival months ago.

My film is going to be on the big screen, in front of a paying audience, at the world’s biggest short film festival! I called my dad and closest friends to give them the good news.

At the get-together at his house, Tom gave me my script back, and again, he said he thought it was very good. I wanted to ask him whether he’d be willing to pass it on to his producer friend Sid Ganis, but we were all gathered in the living room and I didn’t want to pull him aside or put him on the spot in front of the other students.

Instead, I emailed him the next day. I thanked him again for his support then asked him whether he thought Sid Ganis might be interested in my script, and if so, would he feel comfortable recommending it to him. I reminded him that Sid, as a guest speaker in our class, had specifically mentioned he was looking for a good thriller script, and that he would consider one if it came with a recommendation from a trusted source.

Tom’s email response came quick: “Sorry, but no I don’t show scripts to personal friends. It has a tendency to change the relationship.”

I emailed back, telling him that I appreciated his candid response, and that I understood what he was saying.

That first part was true. I did appreciate his candid response. But the second part wasn’t. I don’t understand how recommending a script to a friend can “change the relationship”.

I more or less expected a “no” so I’m not too disappointed. It’s my job to look under every stone, even if I suspect there’s nothing under it.

My UCLA Master Class finished today. I handed a copy of my new script to instructor Tom, who invited everyone to a get-together at his house next Thursday. He said he'll give my script back to me then, along with his notes. I’m anxious to see his reaction to the finished script. If he likes it, he might be willing to pass it on to one of his industry connections.

It's 1:38 AM and I just typed “The End" on my new script, on page 104. Then I laughed out loud with joy, cranked up some upbeat music and started dancing in my tiny studio apartment.

The first draft is complete and I'm extremely pleased with it. It's my third feature-length screenplay, and I think it's the best thing I've written yet. It’s also the fastest I've written yet. I started outlining the story back in October 2009, when my UCLA Master Class in Film Writing began. It’s now eight months later and I have a complete screenplay.

I've been carrying this story in my head almost as long as a pregnant woman carries a baby in her womb, and now I've given birth, after many nights of staying up until 3 AM, thinking, writing, loving and hating in quiet solitude as the rest of the world seemed to sleep. As I wrote in the middle of the night, my mind would go to a dark place, a place I had to go to constantly in order to write this story.

I was accompanied in these late and lonely hours by dark and brooding rock music, from Pink Floyd to Pearl Jam to Ministry. Their songs provided a mental movie soundtrack that helped sustain the mood of the story. Maybe some of these songs will actually be in the soundtrack of the movie someday.

It should be fun taking the final pages of the script to my UCLA class. So far, the instructor Tom Lazarus has said that I'm a "phenomenal writer" and that it's turning out to be a "really good script". Some of the classmates’ reactions have been: "I love your script", "it's creepy", “very disturbing”, “you’re a sick man", “it scares the crap out of me”, "you're incredibly talented" and "I can't wait to see how it ends". Wonderful compliments, all of them.

The class ends in June, then I have all summer to rewrite and polish my script before UCLA sends it out to a literary agent on my behalf. Will this be the script that gets me industry attention? We'll see. There’s a lot of subjective taste and politics involved so I won’t hold my breath.

I recut another film I made in 2008, one originally called TWISTED ROOMMATES. I hated that film because I had screwed it up in almost every way, except that I felt it had a really good action sequence at its core. Throughout the last few months, I would occasionally revisit the film, trying to figure out how to salvage it. I finally came up with the idea of discarding the “plot” and dialog and making it into a more abstract action film. It’s now called GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION.

A short film I made in 2008, "-----" KILLER, is back on the short films page. I removed it last year because I was displeased with it, and I thought I’d bury it for good. But, not having made a film in a while, I revisited “------” KILLER and tried to rework it. I cut out 30 seconds, removed the crappy music, remixed the sound, cropped the picture to 2.35:1 to give it a wide “cinemascope” feel, and color corrected the shots, giving them deeper blacks and richer colors. The end result is what I call the "Director's Cut" -- the pacing has improved and the cinematography looks more pleasing.

It's still a silly little film I shot in about four hours, in my former bare apartment back in Redwood City, but I like it now. It’s a part of my filmmaking history, and at the time, it was meant to be an exercise in telling a story without dialog.

My third feature-length script, the one I'm writing in my UCLA Master class, is taking shape the way my feature scripts usually do -- through alternating bouts of exhilaration and worry. This time, however, I have two extra challenges to deal with.

One challenge is a deadline. We each need to have a complete draft by June, which is when the class ends, and then we’re given all summer to do rewrites before the script is sent out to agents.

The other challenge is self-imposed: I can’t allow myself to be overly influenced by the feedback I receive from my instructor and classmates. That might sound dumb and arrogant, since the whole point of a writing workshop is to exchange feedback with others, but that’s not why I signed up for the class. I signed up to get access to agents.

I think receiving honest, constructive feedback from trusted peers is important, but I like to wait until a draft is complete before that happens. I don’t want to talk about or share my work before that. I have to maintain the integrity of the story I have in mind and can’t allow anyone to derail it, no matter how good their intentions.

The danger of workshopping a script (or short story or novel) is that you can kill a good idea with premature feedback, because many good ideas need time to grow and mature before they show their true value. You can cripple your creativity by listening to people who don’t share your vision and yet have their own opinions on how your story should develop. You might never go down a certain path that could potentially take your story to great heights, simply because the idea was killed before it even had a chance to breathe.

I myself don’t give many notes to others in class due to the reasons above. I’m pretty quiet most of the time, and that’s hard for me to do because I’m usually the class clown.

I've updated the list of principles that I believe are necessary for my success. I hang this list on the wall above my desk to keep myself on the right track.

1) Have short and long term goals clearly in mind and on paper.

2) Constantly learn.

3) Acquire the necessary tools.

4) Use the knowledge and tools to practice and gain experience.

5) There's no such thing as failure as long as you don't quit.

6) Be bold; have a lot of audacity.

7) Be adventurous and take smart risks; shun excessive safety and comfort.

8) Be persistent and consistent.

9) Be strong yet flexible, and therefore unbreakable.

10) Befriend supportive people; avoid destructive people.

11) Talk less, do more.

12) Focus; eliminate distractions.

13) Regularly sharpen the mind and body like you would a pencil that grows dull with use.

14) Don't live in fear.

15) Always challenge yourself.

16) Do it today, not tomorrow.

I got the driving instructor job. What the hell does that have to do with filmmaking? A lot, actually. Instead of slaving for others, helping them get their film projects off the ground, I’ll be earning money and financing my own. I’ve been itching to shoot another short film since I completed STRING THEORY. With an actual paying job, that should be possible soon.

Speaking of slaving, I didn’t get the internship at the production company. I should’ve known it was a bad sign when, during the interview, the guy looked at my resume and said “You have a lot of experience. I’m worried you’ll get bored working here as an intern.”

Translation: “You’re overqualified and I’m not going to hire you.”

Further translation: “You’re too experienced. I won’t have the nerve to ask you to fetch me coffee, especially since I won’t be paying you jack shit. I think I’ll hire the inexperienced twenty-two year-old instead. He’ll be easier to push around.”

Do I sound bitter? Sure, but that doesn’t make my translation any less true.

Today was well spent. At 10 AM I had an interview for a "regular" day job as a driving instructor for teenagers. In the seven months I’ve been in L.A., I’ve tried to avoid looking for work outside of the film industry, to dedicate all my time to my film career. But I'm in debt now. My UCLA class tuition and the expenses of my last film STRING THEORY are chilling on my credit card, gathering interest. If I get hired at this driving school it should work out well with my filmmaking goals. They offer a flexible schedule, which is crucial since I don’t want to get trapped in a day job.

At 1:30 PM I had another interview, for an internship at a film production company. This year, this company has a film nominated for a Golden Globe and another film nominated for two Independent Spirit Awards. Their office is in Century City, in a fancy high-rise on the sixth floor, a block away from the Fox building used in DIE HARD and another building where I shot STRING THEORY. I met with the Director of Acquisitions, who told me he used to be an intern once himself.

To top off the day, my UCLA class in the evening had Sid Ganis as a guest speaker. Sid is a big producer. Among other things, he was president of Paramount Pictures and then president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the organization that hands out the Oscars every year.

Sid mentioned at one point that he's looking for a good thriller script. Did I jump up and tell him I have two good thriller scripts sitting on my shelf at home? Of course not. That's not correct Hollywood etiquette, it would only make me look small and amateurish. Another guy in class was less socially aware and did ask Sid to read his script. He got an indirect “no” and... made himself look small and amateurish.

When one door closes, another one opens. This week I sent out my resume to over twenty different job openings; some of them paid positions, but most of them unpaid, ranging from editor to production assistant, director of photography to intern. I immediately got three interviews -- one on Wednesday, one on Thursday, and one today, Friday.

The Wednesday people, the tiniest and least established company, canceled our interview in the last minute.

The Thursday people, a bigger and more established company, liked me a lot and said they would get back to me next Monday.

The Friday people, the biggest and most successful company of them all, hired me on the spot.

Interesting, isn’t it? You would expect the tiny company to hire me on the spot and the big company to make me jump through hoops to get the job, but the exact opposite happened. There’s a reason big and successful companies are big and successful. They recognize intelligence, skill, and talent when they see it and don’t let it walk away. Especially if it’s free.

Yes, I’ll still be working for free. But I’m moving up in regards to the size and quality of the production companies I’m working for. These guys have a solid track record. They’ve produced big movies with big talent such as Robert DeNiro and Cuba Gooding Jr., and they have consistently made a profit.

The interview was conducted by two friendly guys named Mike and Ryan:

“Mike looked at your resume and said we should talk to you,” Ryan said. “Why did you choose to apply for an internship here?”

“Your ad said that interns will be be involved on a creative level here; that they won’t simply be delegated to fetch coffee and answer the phones,” I replied. “I have no problem fetching coffee and answering phones, but as you can see I’m not a college student looking to pad out my resume. I’m seeking a position that will reward me with opportunities for career growth.”

“I can’t promise you a paid position here but we try to help each and every one of our interns to get ahead,” Ryan pointed out.

“You scratch our back, we’ll scratch yours,” added Mike.

“That’s exactly what I’m looking for,” I said.

They asked me about my background. I told them I’ve been in town for five months and that I just completed two production company internships, with one of them being on the Sony lot. I told them my latest feature script got me accepted into the UCLA Master Class for Film Writing. They were impressed and asked what my script was about, so I pitched it to them. They seemed intrigued.

“You seem like a very sharp guy,” Mike commented.

“What’s your schedule like?” Ryan asked.

“For the time being, my schedule is open one hundred percent,” I replied.

“Oh, you’re hired,” Ryan said.

I start next Tuesday. Having been exploited at my two previous internships, I’m going in with more experience and awareness so that I can take better advantage of this opportunity and make it work for me.

The poster is complete and it looks great. The picture was taken on the set by my gaffer Alex Avila, and the poster itself was designed by Jon Reynolds.

I sent off DVD screeners to the LA Film Festival, Newport Beach Film Festival, and LA Comedy Shorts Fest today. That’s eight festivals total now. It’s out of my hands now, though I do have a promising lead. I called Bob Arentz, founder and director of LA Shorts Fest, and asked him whether he would take a look at my film. He remembered how hard I worked for him at the last festival and gladly agreed. I’m confident the film is good enough to get into his festival based on its own merits but I want him to personally watch it. I don’t want to take any chances by sending it in as a regular submission and having some gatekeeper dismiss it.

I quit my two production company internships -- the one on the Sony lot and the one in West Hollywood. After putting in three months of quality time and labor into both jobs without receiving any pay, it became apparent that the company owners weren’t going to reward me in any way.

When I asked Andy (in West Hollywood) to read one of my scripts, he said, “Sure, just email it to me.” I was surprised at his openness and sent him my script. Five weeks later he still hadn’t read it, and it became clear that he was never going to, despite my gentle reminders. I spent over 120 hours reading their scripts, writing in-depth coverage for them, and answering their phones. And yet he wasn’t willing to spend 90 minutes looking at my script. Maybe I was asking for too much.

When I asked Patrick (on the Sony lot) to finally take me on as a paid employee, being that he was clearly pleased with my performance, he said, “I can’t afford to pay you for a job that can be done in one hour.”

“If this job can be done in one hour, then why don’t I just come in for one hour?” I asked. “Why am I coming in eight hours a day, three days a week?” Of course, he didn’t have a response for that. I told him I had to leave and find a paying job and he had the nerve to ask me to stay a couple more weeks until he found somebody else! Of course, I refused. If he really wanted me for those two extra weeks he could have paid for it. Simple as that.

Once my modest requests for help or payment were denied, I had to leave. Staying any further would only decrease my value in their eyes. I would become their bitch. So I politely walked away from both jobs.

I was naive to think that people will help me if I help them first. I keep forgetting that human decency is not a universal trait. Although my three month investment at both companies didn’t lead to any lasting industry connections or a career boost, I gained experience and learned a precious lesson: There are people out there who will try to get as much as possible from you without giving anything in return. They’re called “parasites”.

I've “locked” the picture. It comes in at 4 minutes and 35 seconds. It took three months to get STRING THEORY made, from writing, to casting, to shooting, to edit and music. Bear in mind I had to share that time with two non-paying day jobs.

I wasn't able to get the license for "New Gold Dream" from the publishers, but I did receive an email from Derek Forbes, who watched the screener I sent him. He wrote "Matt, I laughed out loud. I like it. Well done." It's gratifying to get kudos from a guy who had a hand in writing and performing one of my favorite songs, "Don't You Forget About Me", for one of my favorite movies, THE BREAKFAST CLUB.

I made sure to pursue the song license until I got an absolute no, but in the end, I'm glad I didn't get it. Not only did I save money (the song would've cost at least as much as I spent on the whole film), but I also rose to the challenge of writing my most extensive musical score yet. I was worried that my usual style of dark, funky techno wouldn't fit the film and that I needed a song with pop vocals, but now that I'm done with the film I can't imagine any other piece of music taking its place. The track I recorded is called “Negative Space Bounce”.

I've already submitted the film to the following film festivals: Slamdance, San Francisco, Seattle, SXSW, and Tribeca.

The STRING THEORY poster is almost complete and it kicks ass. I’ll post it here in a few days.

I contacted EMI Music Publishing in order to license the Simple Minds song “New Gold Dream”. After telling one of their sales agents a little about my film and budget, he got back to me within 48 hours saying that the songwriters have refused to grant permission for the song. I was highly skeptical that this agent was able to contact all four songwriters and get a straight answer from them within that time period, especially since they hadn’t even seen a screener of the film. I asked him whether money was an issue and told him that I was willing to negotiate. He said “Money is not an issue. They don’t want the song in the film”.

Of course, I don’t take no for an answer that easily. Especially not from some bureaucratic asshole who tries to stand in my way. I decided to contact the songwriters/band members myself.

An online search revealed contact information for Derek Forbes, founding member of Simple Minds. I emailed him and he responded telling me that he has no problem with me using the song for my film, and that I could send a screener directly to him for approval. I promptly sent him a screener via email. Clearly, the guy at EMI Music had lied to me -- he hadn’t even bothered contacting anyone from Simple Minds.

Following my principle of being bold and audacious, I decided to approach John Graham at Sony and pitch him one of my scripts. John Graham is the Creative Executive of Screen Gems, a Sony company responsible for producing movies such as Resident Evil, Underworld, Quarantine, and The Stepfather. Pretty big stuff.  His office is in the Screen Gems building, adjacent to the Robert Young building, where I work. I had met him there twice briefly when I hand delivered stuff to him.  

I took a few deep breaths, picked up my script and went to the sixth floor of the Screen Gems building.  He wasn't in, so I introduced myself to his pretty assistant and told her I would return.  I went back three hours later and he was in a meeting inside another office, so I waited on the couch outside his door.  I didn't want to come back a third time because that would make me look weak. Next thing I knew, the assistant pulled John out of his meeting for me.  "Matt's here to see you," she told him. I definitely wasn't expecting that.

"Hi John, sorry to interrupt your meeting there.  Could I please have five minutes of your time?" I asked.

"No problem.  Come right in."  He ushered me into his office.  Simple as that.

I formally introduced myself and told him I wanted some advice on how I could go about getting one of my scripts read by someone such as himself at Screen Gems.  John seemed like a nice guy. Young too -- somewhere around my age.  He gave me the classic "we don't accept unsolicited submissions" line, but elaborated further and encouraged me to keep knocking on doors. We talked a bit more, then I thanked him for being gracious and sharing his time and advice with me.

It's frustrating when you have the attention of a top Hollywood executive, with your script ready to go right under your arm, and yet they refuse to even look at the first page. No problem, there's always tomorrow. At least now John knows my name and face.  I'm sure we'll run into each other again.

I'm almost done with the edit and sound mix. I want to license the Simple Minds song "New Gold Dream" for the film so I've contacted the song's publisher. Hopefully it won't cost too much since it'll be for film festival screenings only. I shot the film with this song in mind and actually played it on location for the actors -- it matches the tone of the film perfectly. I'll try my best to get the film festival rights but if it doesn't work out I'll record my own music.

I had Alex photograph a specific image during the shoot that I want to use for the poster. It came out real well and my friend Jon, who is a graphic designer, is busy working on it.

It’s seven in the morning, I just got back from shooting STRING THEORY for twelve hours, and I can’t sleep. I scheduled the shoot until 6:00 AM and amazingly we got our last shot at 5:54 AM.

It all went very well. My gaffer Alex took a bunch of pictures -- I’ll post some here soon.

Today I held the third and last rehearsal session with my actors. Despite rehearsing only an hour each time, we covered a lot of ground. We went through each scene and I made sure everyone understood the characters, the story, and the intention behind each line. We also covered blocking. All this should save us a lot of time during the shoot and lead to a better movie. We’ll be shooting this Saturday, from 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM. I doubt we’ll need the whole twelve hours but I scheduled it just in case.

I visited Christina's condo to see whether it's suitable for the film. It looks fantastic. It's like a fancy little movie set and it will add tons of production value to the film. I told her that her condo was born for the role in STRING THEORY. I took my video camera with me and shot the location from different angles so I could review it at home and plan my shots. We also decided to rehearse at her condo, so it will be like rehearsing on the set.

I’ve cast Christina DeRosa, who has co-starred in TV shows such as ENTOURAGE, EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS, and RENO 911. I liked her acting reel a lot, and when she came into the office and read for me, I was sold.

In terms of crew, I've hired a gaffer, boom operator, and location manager -- pretty minimal but it’ll be enough for the shoot.

I told Christina I was looking for an apartment to shoot the film in and she told me her condominium might fit the bill. I had her email me photos of her condo, and judging from the photos she sent, the location is perfect. It's very unique and colorful.

STRING THEORY will be a considerably “bigger” production than my previous short films, which had no crew and cost me around a few hundred dollars each. I’ve budgeted the film just under $1000. Since I work for free Monday through Friday, it’s going on my credit card. Patrick, the president of the production company I work for at Sony, is letting me use the office for auditions and meetings. There aren’t many other filmmakers in town who can claim to have an office at Sony Pictures.

I placed an ad on LA Casting and received about 400 submissions for the female lead. I sent my script to about forty of them; I'm sending it out in advance because I know the script is not for everyone. I don't want to schedule auditions only to have the actress show up and refuse to read the script due to its explicit content. Out of the forty I contacted, more than half didn't respond. A few emailed me, saying they that they would pass. I expected this. My ad clearly states “this project is not for inhibited or shy actors”, and that there is “no nudity”. Clearly, most actors don't read the whole ad, they just look at the $200 pay I'm offering and promptly submit their headshot and resume. They're wasting my time and theirs.

I went in for a second interview at a production company in West Hollywood, for an internship. This company is owned and run by the co-producers of the SCOOBY-DOO movie and THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT. I was surprised to hear from them, because they first interviewed me five weeks ago, and shortly thereafter informed me that the position had been filled by somebody else. I guess that certain somebody didn’t work out for them.

I went in and sat down with Andy, co-founder of the company. I noticed he had an old version of my resume, the one I had submitted to them five weeks ago.

“That’s an old version. A lot has happened in the last five weeks,” I pointed out.

“What, did you win the lottery?” Andy said. I laughed. I told him I got hired at a production company at Sony Pictures, worked at LA Shorts Fest, and got accepted into UCLA’s Master Class in Film Writing program. He was impressed.

“What’s your schedule like? Can you give me one day a week?” He asked.

“I can give you two,” I shot back. He became even more impressed, and hired me on the spot.

I’ll be reading and covering (reviewing) scripts for them. In due time I’ll have them look at my own scripts.

I got a call from UCLA today. A few weeks ago I had applied to get into their “Master Class in Feature Film Writing” program, which is taught by screenwriter and long-time UCLA instructor Tom Lazarus. I wanted to get into this class not to learn screenwriting, but because, upon its completion, one is referred to an agent for possible representation. Of course, getting into this class isn’t easy. They only accept eight students every year, and these students are selected based on the writing sample they submit with their application. And the writing sample must be a completed script, no less.

Anyway, I received the phone call at around four o’ clock. The caller ID read “UCLA”. I picked up, and was duly informed that... I’ve been selected to take part in the class.

I’m a self-taught screenwriter and filmmaker, and I find it deliciously ironic that although I never went to college, I’ve been chosen to attend a “Master Class” at the world’s biggest and most prestigious film school.

Today in the office at Sony my boss and I had a meeting with a director. A guy fresh out of college. Once the director arrived, my boss sent me to get food for everyone. The director requested turkey on wheat, lettuce and swiss cheese, no mayo or mustard. No problem.

I came back with the food. Mr. Director leafs through his sandwich and puts it down. Uh-oh, did the cafeteria guy fuck up? My boss asks Mr. Director if anything is wrong. There is. There's mustard in his sandwich. My boss gives me a look.

"I specifically told the guy to make a dry sandwich," I tell him.

Mr. Director takes a few bites and leaves the rest on the table. He talks about a couple of projects and the meeting concludes.

I'm thinking to myself, if this guy can't handle a little bit of mustard on his sandwich, how is he going to handle the hardships of directing a feature film?

If we all had to go back into the wild and fend for ourselves, or if there were ever a shortage of food, fussy eaters would die first, because it seems they’d rather go hungry than eat what's at hand.

I got a call from the production company at Sony Pictures. They want me to start Thursday. I’ll be going in three days a week. There’s no money involved but this opportunity is priceless -- Sony Pictures is full of heavy hitting industry people. People I plan on getting to know.

So I got my foot in the door. Now I need to figure out how to pay rent.

I squeezed in a couple of internship interviews in the middle of the festival. One was for a production company located at Sony Pictures Studios. I wore a dress shirt and tie for the occasion, and the first thing the president of the company asked me as I walked into the door was “This is how you dress up for an internship interview?” I wasn’t sure if he was implying that I was overdressed or underdressed. He went on to say that Hollywood is a casual industry. And he practiced what he preached -- he wore a Hawaiian shirt and had his feet up on the coffee table. The interview went well but I’m not holding my breath for a call back. However, I firmly believe that whoever doesn’t hire me is taking a huge loss.

Today wasn’t as hectic as opening night, so I made time to watch more shorts. There was a lot of good stuff out there. It’s inspiring and a bit intimidating to see the competition deliver films of such high caliber.

One film that stood out for me and that was a major crowd pleaser was THE DEPOSITION OF LOU BAGETTA, written by Brian Sack and directed by Tommy Smeltzer. It’s about an immortal mobster who happens to be the target of the world’s most incompetent hitman. This film is hilarious. I wish there was a way for people to see this outside of a festival. It has a brilliant script that’s well executed, and the performances by the two leads Patrick Gallo and Dan Olivo are great. This film takes mafia film cliches and turns them upside down. I talked to Dan Olivo, who plays the incompetent hitman, and he says they’re trying to expand it into maybe a feature or TV show. If it’s anything as good as their short, it’ll be a hit.

In the evening we showed Demi Moore’s directorial debut STREAK. She, Ashton Kutcher and their entourage showed up for the screening and we had a Q&A with her at the end. Lena Headey (300, THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES) also appeared in person to promote the short film THE DEVIL’S WEDDING, in which she starred. Unfortunately I missed the film, but my fellow volunteer Parrish and I flagged her down along with her director Dan Cadan as they were leaving the building and asked them if they would like to participate in the Q&A session. They were happy to.

Most importantly for myself, I pitched my latest feature script to a talent manager who’s company happens to have a deal with 20th Century Fox. The talent manager gave me his assistant’s contact info so that I could get in touch with him. I’m not expecting anything, but it’s another possible lead. Besides, I need more practice pitching to industry pros.

I volunteered to help out with the LA Shorts Fest, the largest short film festival in the world. For opening night, they were showing films directed by Scarlet Johanssen, Courteney Cox, and Kirsten Smith (writer of LEGALLY BLONDE). All three ladies were going to be present for a Q&A session at the end of the night.

I showed up at 11:00 AM for festival orientation, and was surprised to see at least thirty other volunteers there. The festival founder and director Bob Arentz told us what we needed to know and we jumped into setting things up. As I was hauling stuff out of Bob's car from the garage, we chatted a bit. After sizing me up, he pulled me aside and told me he wanted me in charge of the VIP seating for opening night, for Scarlet and Courteney and their respective family and friends. He also wanted me to set up the chairs on the stage where Scarlet, Courteney, Kirsten, and the moderator would sit for the Q&A, and to guide them to specific chairs -- I had to make sure Scarlet and Courteney would sit in the middle two chairs to maximize photo coverage.

As I worked throughout the day, waiting for the main event at 7:45 PM, I mingled with the other volunteers and some of the filmmakers. Most of them are trying to jump start their careers in the industry, just like myself. I exchanged numbers with a few of them. In the afternoon, I changed into black slacks, white shirt and tie in my the car, in order to get ready for the opening night reception.

Around 7:30 the red carpet was set up outside, paparazzi was out in full force, and the talent was trickling in. I felt sorry for Scarlet Johanssen, who had to answer the same questions over and over again with cameras stuck in her face, all the while smiling and looking happy. Eventually, we ushered the talent into the theater. Once the house was full, Bob Arentz gave a quick welcome and the show began. Scarlet Johannsen's film THE VAGABOND SHOES starred Kevin Bacon, Courteney Cox's film THE MONDAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING starred Laura Dern, and Kirsten Smith's film THE SPLEENECTOMY starred Anna Farris. All three films were very well done, charming and funny. I thought Kirsten Smith’s film was the best, but that’s because she’s a screenwriter, of course.

After the films, all three ladies, along the the moderator, came up for the Q&A. The Moderator took one microphone and I handed the other mic to Kirsten Smith. Thankfully, Scarlet Johanssen and Courteney Cox sat in the middle on their own. I didn't want to be the one to tell them where to sit. And yes, Scarlet looks amazing in person.

I stood nearby for the Q&A, and Bob told me that once the session ends, to let the stars slip out the back exit and to cut off anyone who wants to approach them from the aisles. He told me to keep an eye on one particularly aggressive man in the audience who's known for rushing the stars at festivals, but thankfully there was no incident.

There was an after party at a restaurant called Sushi Dan's (minus the stars of course). I hung out a bit with some newfound friends, then went home, having been on my feet for about twelve hours, and without having eaten anything in all that time. But it was fun and fruitful. It beat the hell out of sitting at home waiting for phone calls from potential employers. I'll be volunteering until closing night, which is on the 31st. Demi Moore will attend tomorrow for her directorial debut STREAK.

After researching a bunch of shady moving companies, I chose to rent a cargo van and haul everything to LA myself. I don't have much stuff due to my minimalistic lifestyle, so I fit most of it in the van and the rest I squeezed into my Honda Civic. Doing this saves me about $800 -- almost a month's worth of rent.

My friend Andi helped me load the van in the morning and I drove down to my new LA apartment, where I met with my friend Jon, who helped unload everything. Then I drove back to the Bay Area in the evening, to return the van and pick up my own car.

Doing a round trip in one day was grueling, especially the drive back; around midnight, with roughly an hour of driving left, I felt like I was mildly hallucinating. I was tired, sleepy, hungry, and had to go to the bathroom. To prevent myself from falling asleep I sang out loud, making up silly lyrics as I went along. I arrived at my Bay Area apartment around 1 AM, took a shower to wash off 700 miles of grime and sweat, then went to sleep on the floor of the empty apartment -- my final night in the Bay Area, after living there for the last 13 years.

I returned to the San Francisco Bay Area today from Los Angeles. Between bar hopping and clubbing in Santa Monica with my friend Jon, picking up girls, and watching THE GRADUATE outdoors in a giant cemetery with over 1000 other people, I managed to find a studio apartment in West LA. This is a well centralized location in terms of where a lot of the film industry is. I need to be close to the action in order to maximize my exposure, not to mention minimize my commuting time in LA’s infamous traffic. Besides, from what I’ve seen, when you’re near the coast, the weather is cooler and yet the girls are hotter. I’ll definitely be taking advantage of both.

I’m moving on July 11th. I’m going to miss the hell out of the Bay Area.

My latest cinematic exercise, FLIRT, is finished, and I think it turned out pretty well. I’m especially happy with the script, the acting, and the music.

It’s hard to believe it’s been seven months since my last completed film. Part of it’s my fault, but another part, finding the right actress, was more difficult and time consuming than it should have been. In the end, I did find the right actress. Elizabeth did a great job.

I’m driving to LA tomorrow for a few days to check out apartments. I’ll be staying at my friend Jon’s place. I got laid off yesterday from my job at the college, after working there for four years. It’s not a big deal since I was going to quit and move to LA in September anyway. Now I get to do it three months earlier.

It’s funny how some people are more worried about me than I am. They’re terrified of the idea of being unemployed in this economy, and they’re wondering why I have a smile on my face. I’m pursuing my passion down a rough road, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ve reached the finer stages of the edit, cutting or adding frames here and there, trying to get the flow and rhythm right. And I’ve recovered from the shock of seeing myself in a close-up in high definition (“Damn! So that’s what I look like!”).

I think the performances came out well, especially since this is the first time Elizabeth and I are acting in front of the camera. The audience will have to be the final judge though, because I really can’t tell anymore. I have no objectivity left. At this point I can’t tell the difference between this film and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The sound edit has been easy; I’m surprised and relieved at how little noise from the event outside the library got into the audio track. Being extra careful with the microphone placement paid off. I learned my lesson on my last film TWISTED ROOMMATES, which had completely unusable sound due to bad mic technique. That’s why I drowned out that film in a rock song.

I should have a final cut by this weekend. Then I’ll decide whether I’m going to score the film. Since it’s all dialog based, music might not be necessary.

I arrived at the college library around 7:30 AM. A weekend camp was using the campus for some kind of event, and they were setting up in the quad right outside the library. The security guy told me that they were going to get loud. Great. I chose to shoot on Sunday thinking it would be quiet. I was prepared to reschedule if it got too noisy but hoped I didn't have to.

Elizabeth arrived around 8:30, I gave her a few final notes on the script and we dove right in. The event outside was sporadically loud, but I brought the microphone in real close to get a strong signal. Like all my previous films, I was pretty much doing everything myself, except this time I was also acting. Hey, I have to challenge myself. If I bite off more than I think I can chew, I'll have no choice but to chew it. Chew it or choke on it.

When setting up shots that I was supposed to be in, I had to run back and forth from behind the camera to in front of it to properly frame myself. Elizabeth was also my stand in, though more for focusing than framing since she's shorter than I am. Once we were ready for a take, I used the camera remote to start recording, and after saying "cut", I played back the take to make sure it turned out okay. I knew this method would slow us down, so I had scheduled a full day even though the script is only four pages of mostly dialog. One thing I didn’t have to worry about was lighting. The overhead fluorescent lights gave a soft, even light that fit the film just fine.

We finished by 1:30 PM. It took less than five hours. I was pretty tired when I got home, and the last thing I wanted to do was look at the footage, but I had to see what it looked like. Were the shots in focus and properly exposed? What about the sound? I watched the raw footage on my HDTV. It looked pretty good. This is only my fourth film with the Panasonic HVX200A, and I'm still learning to get the most out of it, but so far I'm really impressed by the level of detail and the rich colors it captures. I'll start the edit tomorrow.

The last couple of weeks I've been rehearsing FLIRT with my co-star Elizabeth. We ran through the script numerous times, making sure we listened and reacted truthfully to each other. Doing this not only helped us find our characters but it also showed me which lines didn’t work, and after each session I would rewrite and polish the dialog while it was still fresh in my ear. We're shooting tomorrow at the library. Should be a fun and valuable experience.

I've made a list of principles that I believe are necessary for my success. I'll put it on my wall to keep myself on the right track.

1) Have short and long term goals clearly in mind and on paper.

2) Constantly learn.

3) Acquire the necessary tools.

4) Use the knowledge and tools to practice and gain experience.

5) There's no such thing as failure as long as you don't quit.

6) Be bold; have a lot of audacity.

7) Be adventurous and take smart risks; shun excessive safety and comfort.

8) Be persistent and consistent.

9) Befriend supportive people; avoid destructive people.

10) Be respectful and diplomatic.

11) Talk less, do more.

12) Focus; eliminate distractions.

13) Regularly sharpen the mind and body like you would a pencil that grows dull with use.

14) Don't live in fear.

15) Stand up for yourself; never let others dominate you.

16) Always challenge yourself.

17) Do it today, not tomorrow.

My five month filmmaking drought will come to an end soon. I can't believe it's been five months. Why didn't I do more in that time?

Anyway, I've rewritten ROMANCE, and it's become a different film now, one that I've titled FLIRT. It's about a bold guy who tries to pick up a very pretty, and extremely tough, girl at the library. I happen to work at a college, so I approached the Dean of Library Services for permission to shoot at our library. He said I could, as soon as final exams are over and things quiet down.

There's been no activity on the filmmaking end. I haven't even been trying. I feel like I'm stuck in a hole and making no effort to climb out. The hole just seems too deep, and it's surprisingly comfortable at the bottom, as long as I don't remind myself of where I am.

Often I open my screenwriting program and stare at the screen for long stretches of time. I’m sure a lot of writers do this, but in my case, I don't type a single word.

I haven't made any music either. I actually just sold my Yamaha keyboard in order to fight my credit card debt.

The potential “actresses” whom I have sent my script ROMANCE to have all turned it down. Actually, most have done even less than that. They never responded. One did respond, and she said the script was “too explicit” for her. I can only imagine that the others were equally appalled by the dialog in the script. Good, that’s the effect I’m going for.

I clearly put a warning in the casting call that the script contains extremely vulgar language, and that they shouldn’t submit their headshots if they’re easily offended. Maybe I should pay more?

These people claim to want to act, and yet, even though they have little to no experience, they’re turning down a paid role in a short film. They don’t realize they’re being given an opportunity to show their talents on film, to increase their demo reel content, and to work with a “nobody” filmmaker who may very likely one day be a “somebody”.

Now that kind of short-sightedness is what I find vulgar.

Two days ago I received a call from SF Casting regarding the casting notice I had submitted to them for my next short film ROMANCE. They told me they couldn't approve it without knowing the actual location of the audition, because in my casting notice I had mentioned that the script contains extremely vulgar and explicit dialog. They said the casting notice would also have to be flagged with an indicator saying "contains sexual situations", apparently for the safety of the actors.

They said my notice would not be posted until I gave them the requested information. I told them I may or may not get back to them, since I have the notice running on three other casting websites. In other words, I didn't give a damn about their approval. I didn't appreciate being treated like a shady pornographer, though.

The funny thing is, if I hadn’t taken it upon myself to place that disclaimer in my casting notice, it would have been posted on their website right now. Lesson learned: Don’t give out more information than necessary.

Okay, I’m back out of the creative cave. I’ve revamped the website and ready to plunge into my next short film after a few months of “filmmaker’s block”.

I’m casting my next short film ROMANCE, a satire about the love/hate relationship between men and women. I wish I could say that the film will be completed by Valentine’s Day. It would fit right in thematically, though the film is more of a “fuck you” to the standard conventions of romance rather than a celebration of it. Anyway, the casting process has just begun and the film won’t be done for weeks to come.

I composed and recorded the musical score. I played live on my keyboard as I watched IN BLOOD on the computer, doing take after take, trying to get the timing of my performance right. This is my first time scoring a film, even though I’ve been writing and recording music for years. The final score is dark and mysterious, just like the film. I’m happy with it.

I invited my friend Crissy to come over and watch the film. My first audience member. She seemed quite impressed and said she liked it. Her reaction gave me a strong morale boost because up to that point I wasn’t sure whether the film played as I intended it to.

You can now view IN BLOOD on the Short Films page.

I have edited the film and it’s 90 seconds long. I also recorded the foley (sound) effects. I didn’t bother recording any sound on the set because there is no dialog in the film.

To do the sound effects, I stood up late last night, waiting for the traffic to die down and the neighbors to go to sleep. Shortly after midnight, it was quiet enough for me to do some recording. I had written a short list of sound effects that I needed, and I recorded them by reenacting Klaus’s actions from the film, inches away from my Oktava microphone. This gave me good, clean sound, and syncing it up to the film in Final Cut Pro was simple.

Klaus arrived at my apartment around 9 PM last night, about an hour late. I was hoping we would start shooting by 9 PM and be done by midnight. Even though the script is less than a page long, I needed eighteen shots, and that could take a while since I was doing everything myself.

While we shot, I had a bucket of water standing nearby as a safety measure against fire (candles near carpet is not a good idea!). I would feel very stupid if I burned down my apartment in the process of making a one minute short film.

By around 1:30 AM, I got all the shots I needed from Klaus. By then he looked tired and wanted to go home. After he left, I shot a couple of remaining insert shots and wrapped up. All together, I shot over forty minutes of footage. Not bad for a one minute film. I did a lot of takes -- each shot had to be right in terms of framing, lighting, timing, and performance. Four hours to get eighteen shots in one room might seem excessive, but hey, I was doing everything myself. Also, it was my first time lighting for film and my first time making a short with the Panasonic HVX200 camera.

I bought 60 feet of black fabric from a fabric store and used push pins to hang them on the walls and windows of my living room. This creates the dark chamber that I need. I shot some tests with six candles and two 25 watt compact fluorescent lamps covered with CTB gel. The gel adds a nice orange glow to the light.

I asked Klaus, a colleague from work, whether he wants to play the mysterious man in my film. There is no dialog so the role doesn’t require much acting. I just need a tall, slim man who will fit nicely in a black monk’s robe. Klaus was hesitant at first but I convinced him.

I’ve written a script about a mysterious man who writes by candlelight in a dark chamber. The script is called IN BLOOD, and it’s less than half a page long! The film will actually be longer than it appears on paper because there is no dialog, and dialog takes up the most space on the page in a properly formatted script. The finished film will probably be somewhere between one and two minutes long.

IN BLOOD will be my first film where I light the set and do production design. All my previous shorts were shot with available light and decor, and didn’t look very appealing. I recently purchased a Panasonic HVX200A high definition camera, and that camera, along with good lighting and production design, should lead to a good looking film.

I wrote a script that involves candlelight in order to give myself an opportunity to put the cinematography theory that I’ve studied for so long to practice. I want to create a unique look and atmosphere. The candles won’t provide adequate light for the camera, so I need to augment them with lamps. The challenge is to use lamps and yet maintain the illusion that the candles alone are lighting the room.